kissen

Take it slow, you can do this.

Its not going to happen over night, it’s okay that you are yo-yoing, that will change eventually.

Don’t beat yourself up for not being perfect and for messing it up sometimes, you know that is never permanent.

it’s never too late to fix the things you want to fix.

Last but not least, you cannot cheer everybody, it’s impossible, take care of yourself first Marni.

This time losing weight has been so difficult. Perhaps what I’ve hit after 83 pounds is a plateau in the truest sense of the word. My weight continues to yo-yo and I struggled last week and part of the week earlier with my workouts. I don’t get it. After having such difficulties I realize what would work better than one hour of cardiop everyday is doing a half hour every other day and one hour the days between. This way I get work outs everyday but do not put too much pressure on myself to perform and push. Also I don’t want my body to get used to one hour workouts everyday, that cannot be wise and should I fail with the one hour workouts then I will not burn no matter how well I’m eating.

My eating habits are leaving little to be desired. For such a long time I was only eating raw fruits and veggies. I do okay lately but then screw it up too many times when I cook for my partner. It’s better starting last night, I managed to stay away from his food and came away from cooking it with only one bite. But then I ate these semi sweet crackers today, so now I am filled with some regret, lol. I will just have to do better tomorrow and the rest of today.

Aside from that I continue to draw pinups and have been planning my next art piece — and I work almost daily on photography, which I’m glad to say is becoming more stylized. I also managed a new poem last week, which I am incredibly proud of. A few years ago I struggled with my art on every level, I was afraid creation left my body for good. I believe the dieting has helped me to rediscover part of that again. Maybe when at my heaviest I was too depressed to make anything. It terrified me since I have been doing nothing but creating since the age of two.

Also, my partners support has been priceless, he continues to tell me how beautiful I am and he continues to encourage me to keep up with the work outs and healthy eating. He believes in me 100%, probably more than I do in myself at times.

This evening I will be doing one hour on the bike (ouch, lol) yesterday I did 30 minutes. Tomorrow 30, etc. I also decided that I am not going to enter anymore competitions. They place too much pressure on me to perform and when I don’t I become too down. I never did them before and I did just fine. However, I will continue to write down my measurements the beginning of every month and also weigh myself. I know the next time I measure and weigh myself there will not be much change, but I still have three whole months to work my ass off and lose at least 40 — so here’s to that. I CAN do this.

Hope it’s going well for everyone else.

I weigh the same ( 264), but have finally showed some new results in measurements.

Hips: 56

Thighs: 31

Biceps: 18

Chest: 46

Waist: 43

My workout since last week is as follows:

Thursday: 60 minutes 715 calories

Friday: 45 minutes 475 calories

Saturday: 60 minutes 700 calories

Sunday: 60 minutes 758 calories

Monday: 60 minutes 674 calories

Not bad for a half *** effort. Now I’m buckling down. I’ve had issues with food these last few weeks. Usually I allow myself some sinful eating on Saturday but did a bit more than that last week and yesterday. Now I’m back to vegan eating and the workouts are as high as I wish them to be.The only thing that saved my butt was the hour long workouts. Had I not been doing them, I would have gained. I incorporated weights into the workout, which will place me a little over an hour every other day. Next week I will add crunches. I am allowing myself the most minimal of weight sets and crunches since my biking is an hour long. I would like to slowly build up the weight lifting and crunches as weeks go by so that I do not over exert myself and hit a burn out. I figure the results will start to show themselves more dramatically in February.

I am not discouraged but do wish that I had tried to eat a little better. I also feel that for the amount of activity I do my caloric intake is much to high. I simply cannot move that steady for 12 hours a day, so I am cutting back my caloric intake to match what I burn since most times I am writing or doing some other sedentary activity.

I always laugh when they say “oh you must eat about 1,2500 calories a day” yeah, if I’m CONSTANTLY moving. With numbers like that it’s no wonder so many people cannot lose or keep the weight off.

Aside from that, I am thinking of not updating numbers for a month, just laying low until it’s time to record weight and measurements. Hope everyone else is doing well ~!

Off to a great start again, and feeling super recharged.

Sunday: 30 minute workout on the bike - 315 calories burnt

Monday: 30 minute workout on the bike - 337 calories burnt

Tuesday: 34 minute workout on the bike - 369 calories burnt

Wednesday: 60 minute workout on the bike - 672 calories burnt

Today I will try and do the same as yesterday or there about. I’m very excited to be back in the saddle. I’ve gained a few kilo- I believe some of it is water retention from my cycle and some muscle from the bike and weights I’m using. It should be off by next week and I will weigh in to post on my tracker. I will also measure my body, since I have often found that what doesn’t show on the scale will sometimes show in inches.

I’m also excited to go shopping this Friday. I will replace all my eating with what I was doing before, which is fruit, veggies, beans and grains. I have missed it a lot. I notice my face is looking better since Tuesday — I believe the exercise is helping with the blood flow, amazing how exercise can improve and help the mind and looks. I’m so damn glad to have my bike back!

I won’t be making this challenge but I have begun it. The bike broke last month and it wasn’t until January twelfth that I was able to get a new one for my birthday. That was a wonderful surprise. Jimmy (my boyfriend) is very supportive of me and knew I was devastated when the bike finally breathed its last. When we got the bike home we discovered the digital parts were not working. Disappointing to say the least. We took the bike back, they exchanged the part, we brought it home and boom, still not working. Finally last Sunday we were able to get a new replacement and I’ve been riding the bike since we brought it home. Today will be day three. So I only have one hour of time in with my workouts being thirty minutes each time. Shameful!

As far as workout time goes, I find that it’s too easy to do the thirty minutes, so today I will up the time. I will do forty five, an hour if I can manage or feel for it. My diet is slowly getting back to normal, it’s been strange with our eating habits, I’m surprised I’ve not gained weight.

As a result of the bike breaking down I was gaining, then losing, basically yo-yo’ing with two pounds. It’s good to know that I can finally complete my goal, which I don’t think is unreasonable. I will still measure in on February first, and measure my body parts as well, then post them here and start the challenge over that day. Only, now it doesn’t feel so much like a challenge, but a way of life.

I weighed in this morning and lost two pounds, so feel very good about the progress no matter how small.

I’ve been reading the forums and they are helping a lot. There are some great people that love a challenge and one gal had a great idea. You can read her post under the Fitness Challenge of the Weight Loss and Fitness Challenge section. I wish more people would participate in these — I think a challenge is exactly what a lot of people can use when it comes to a huge weight loss.

You can find post in the forum under Fitness Challenge - the post is titled The 1240 Challenge.

I’m posting my weight, dress size and measurements up here to keep track. I’ll weigh myself again on the first of February and also measure myself at that time. If anyone else wants to do this please reply to Rebecca’s post - it would be great for more people get involved and if not, well, I will simply take advantage of her wonderful idea!

Weight: 264

57 - hips
31 - thighs
18 - biceps
48 - chest
43 - waist

shirt: 2x or 22-24
pants: 22-24

Alright, first off I want to thank everyone for their encouragement, wow. So many kind and giving people out there, it’s wonderful!

I feel much less discouraged today, I was looking at my weight tracker and realize I am half way to my short term goal, that if I made it that far, I can for sure make it the rest of the way to my short goal easier than I think. I feel excited.

I start the ropes today, have started my day with an apple and some Oolong tea. I will go for a walk later. I am quite optimistic and feel nothing can slow me down.

I feel even more encouraged thanks to the kind words of fellow diet buddies.

Well, the holidays have come and gone. I managed to gain some weight over the last months. It was impossible for me to not eat, especially here in Sweden where all they do is eat during this time of the year. I gained six pounds.

However, the new year has started and I feel optimistic, my boyfriend has been looking for a replacement bike and I’m beginning to revert back to old eating habits. We went shopping yesterday and I bought fruit and veggies for the week.

This weekend I finished out by eating a terrible meal of hotdogs and last night calzone was on the menu. TERRIBLE I know, and I never eat like this. I usually manage to keep a tight lid on my eating habits, sadly the holidays screwed me up. I have no excuses, but that I made some poor choices. Time to pick myself up and dust myself off.

I’ ve also come up with an exercise plan and tomorrow I will begin it. So for two steps back, may I take ten forward.

Ugh, the bike broke. It seems so trivial but I cannot afford a gym membership, or to go out and buy a new bike. I’m trying to keep in mind the positives and to see what it is I CAN work with. I can walk, can use he weights we have here, and I can do dancing or aerobics. It will have to be good enough.

What’s even worse is the Holidays coming! Jimmy’s mother has been baking tons of sweets, and I have a lot to bake coming up this weekend, so no rest for the wicked,*laughs* — and boy do Swedes love to eat!

I’m worried but not too much, I expect that there will be a little weight gain happening this month even though so far I have managed to maintain, so I am not going to be too hard on myself and beat myself up for that. I’m thinking about changing my short term goal as well but I won’t because it’s only a few more weeks.  I feel its important to be realistic in my goals and not discourage myself at all, and I also feel that the short term goal is possible as long as in between the big days I continue eating properly and exercise.

We shall see what happens, and at least in between the bad days where I am baking or at his mothers, I am sticking to a proper eating plan.

Well, it’s the first day of beginning a support site for the second and last leg of my weight loss. I managed the first 80 pounds on my own but find that this little over than half of the last half of weight loss to be a bit more challenging. I’ve decided to post a full body image of myself on here, mainly for myself, maybe to inspire others. I’m large and embarrassed, naturally, but someday I can look back and see the challenge I’ve overcome. I can hardly believe I was 80 pounds heavier, that I’m alive is amazing.

I’m hoping to make some friends, hoping that I can do this as well. I know I can, but working out has been the real challenge through it all. As much as I know that working out is great for me, I still have trouble getting going on it. It’s as of the motivation is lost. It’s painful to work out as well, not always fun and smiles. Still I should try and keep in mind that when I work out I do tend to feel so much better afterwards, as if I’ve accomplished something great and did something good for me.